My ma

It's 1:51 AM 

I SHOULD be in bed

and

my PHONE should NOT be ringing.

Who the eff is calling at 1:51 AM?

Guess!

No really, go on and guess.

NO...

NOT MY MOM!!

well, not exactly...

It's an automated message that I just received a   

text message on my landline

What did it say?

*insert robot voice* <--- This part is CRITICAL.

Holy. Shit. I. Just. Googled. Puerto. Vallarta. Party. Bus. And. You. Came. Up. Number. One.

Congrats on learning how to text, Ma.

And thanks for the urgent info.

Goodnight.