The other Parent

Now that I've shared one of MANY reasons that I am deserving of the 

Mother of the Year Award

Let me share a story about how Papi is deserving of the

Father of the Year Award

A couple of weeks ago Papi was sitting at the desk pictured in the top section of this photo

Meanwhile my kids were on the far side of their room which is just to the left of the dresser in the bottom left corner. It's approximately 15 feet from the far wall in their room to that desk chair. On that far wall is a window. And this is the view from that window.

Yes the room is on the second floor. 

Are you noticing anything strange about this picture yet?

Here, take a CLOSER LOOK...

While Josue had his back turned, the 

3 LITTLE HUGE MONSTERS

not only opened the window but the SCREEN too and threw toys into the pool

All I can say is thank

him AND his fruitloops

that NONE of the MONSTERS went flying out that window.

Honestly, I think it's my boys that should win

MONSTERS of the YEAR Award.

Needless to say... it's time to lock the kids in the closet.

Normal...enough

Sometimes I think my kids are normal.

They laze around and watch movies with lots of violence

They make ridiculous faces

They play basketball in their undies

They pee in the park

They pretend to feel bad for when someone notices

They EAT, pray DRINK, love COLOR

But, it just so happens that SOMEtimes doesn't occur often around here.

Instead we have Ghetto Pirate Costumes

Booze it up at 4 years old

Use the dryer instead of a warm blanket

Did I mention we are too poor to afford beds?

  

Ummm....

I swear I didn't drop him when he was a baby

And when did a cooler no longer become a cooler?   

 

5 seconds after we got it in the house, THAT'S when

OH YEAH,

DON'T FORGET....

The Surprising (and SHOCKING) appearances by 

Nacho Libre

Thanks WWE for reminding him to wear  

tights when he shows up at our restaurant table

But after all this I realize that it's not MY KIDS that aren't NORMAL...

It's Boys.

So I ask.

What went wrong there, Big guy?

Mamalicious Mornings

When I think of mornings in our house, or in general, I think of F U...

N!

Yup, mornings are always a fun time around here.
Saturday morning started like any other.
It begins with me trying to pretend I don't hear any monsters opening my door and slamming it shut over and over and over.
I mean slamming it.
 I really wake up  
(when my brain is on the verge of exploding) 
on my own free will
as I'm being poked in the face by multiple fingers to a choir of wailing and moaning children. They boys were singing their usual morning song which I believed is titled "I'm starving." It has some pretty deep lyrics, the chorus goes something like "I want cereal, I want a sandwich, I want ice-cream" with one verse sung by each of the little ones. It's a song that would make any mother's ears bleed insides feel warm and fuzzy.
This particular morning I was feeling terrible, I had a killer headache and was in no mood for any nonsense! I figured if I could get them breakfast as fast as possible I might be able to coheres them into a cuddle fest (aka going back to sleep). I quickly headed for the stairs, got about three steps down only for Big Bug to start screaming "Ma! Ma!" Making someone hold his hand when going down the stairs is his new thing. That's exactly what we need in this house - ANOTHER new thing.
We've got more "new things" than Trump has dollars.
By the time all four of us are downstairs I attempt to start taking orders again, because these boys are like adult women who can't make up their mind so I know it's changed in the last 10 seconds.
Another fight starts
I'm giving someone the wrong bowl.
Now I'm screaming. VERY LOUDLY!! (Inside of my own head but still screaming.)
On to the next fight.
Fishy Richie doesn't want cereal now. This may or may not have been a result of the bowl issue.
I decide this is MY day to win and Fishy Richie can continue to starve.
2 bowls of cereal made and I decide to make one for myself.

More screaming.

Even more screaming.

I haven't even got the cereal bowls to the table yet and I'm ready to call it a day.
Fishy Richie gives in and wants cereal.  

Too.

Bad.

BESIDES

You have a father -

  Ask him.

Anyways, I deliver the other two bowls to the table and I'm so irritated that I take mine over to the stairs and sit down to eat. It's like I'm a sulking 4 year old. I don't care.
Just as I sit down Big Bug spills some milk on the floor because OF COURSE he can't just keep his bowl at the table and eat. Noooooooooo!
I think by this point my loss of sanity was obvious because Big Bug goes did this.

He's not even 2.

I decide I'm not even going to get mad about it because he was so good about it. He then picks up his bowl AGAIN and my blood starts to boil. What does he do next?

He comes and sits with me. I can NOT be mad at this kid. (At least not right now)

Dad comes down and gives Fishy Richie cereal because apparently which bowl he gets doesn't matter anymore.
Two minutes later him and Chuleta get into it and someone spills again.
Blood boiling!
Rage building!!
Screaming!!! (Only this time it's not inside my head.)

While I'm being MAD this happens.

Chuleta then got up, got the broom and dust pan and cleaned it up. He's 3.

I was almost ready to give up on life mornings and then they go and do that.

Sweet 

Stinkin

Monsters
 

(P.S. for those of you wondering, only half of the bad spacing was intentional.)