Mamalicious Life

What is a Mamalicious life and who lives it?

Por favor, let me edu.ma.cate. U.

Here is a quick run down (in no particular order) of what mamalicious mama's do:

1.  Your baby loses his/her first tooth. You can NOT let your little one be disappointed as it was you that has fed his/her mind full of ridiculous fairy tales for the last 5 years. That means YOU are not going to be the one to let them know that you've been a big fat liar from the very minute they were born. That's right, time to dig down where it hurts (your wallet and your pride) and put on your dainty tooth fairy wings and deliver.

2.  It's the dead of summer and your offspring are just about to kick off their 5th consecutive hour of The Family Guy so you force yourself out of your grubby sweats, pull that unflattering one piece out of the bottom of the big black garbage bag stuffed in the corner of your closet that you never got around to taking to good will, squeeze your mommy parts in and run past the mirror as fast as you can without looking and head to the public pool. You will suffer in total embarrassment because you LOVE those little rotters THAT much! Besides, if you have to stomach the sound of that show on tv for one more minute you're going to...well...do something drastic. Like start a load of laundry.

3. You teach them responsibility. Pets are a tool for that. Just like children you need to feed them, play with them, hold them, sing to them... I mean, pets are people too!

4. It's easy to be distracted by the important things you are going to do in your "free time" such as your spa appointment, the nail you just chipped, avoiding getting a grass stain on your freshly pressed designer dress but you've got to stay alert! And yes, I know that sometimes the sweet silence of a coma DOES sound appealing but the reality is no one else wants your problems or your kids so you must always, always, ALWAYS look both ways before crossing the street.

5.  But maybe one of the most valuable lessons you can teach your special blessings from heaven is that LESS truly is MORE!!!

I know what you're thinking. Heidi, Halle, Britney, Sofia and Giselle are all doing it completely wrong. And it's true. Look at how RIDICULOUS  they all look! 

Being truly mamalicious means making it through a day full of boogers, vomit, gum in the hair, toys being flushed down the toilet, 53 times outs (12 of which belonged to mom), 3 mental break downs, pulled hair, noise complaints from the neighbours, 1 cut knee, 4 bruises, 942 "he/she did it's", 3 I hate you's, 2348459843 no's and ZER0 thank you's and BELIEVING that it was worth it all for a HUG, a KISS and a CUDDLE from each MONSTER at the end of the never-ending day.

And those of you that manage that plus a shower and a pair of real clothes deserve a medal. A gold Mamalicious medal...but you'll probably have to settle for one made out of Playdoh instead.